The Nearly Complete and Utter History of Everything

The Nearly Complete and Utter History of Everything is a collection of television comedy sketches, produced in 1999, broadcast in two parts on 2 and 4 January 2000 on BBC One. Based on well-known historical events, it took its title and concept from the 1969 London Weekend Television series The Complete and Utter History of Britain.

Cast[edit]

The Ages of Man[edit]

A version of the class sketch which had previously been broadcast as part of the BBC Millennium programme on 31 December 1999.

• Ronnie Barker – Renaissance Man
• Ronnie Corbett – Medieval Man
• Stephen Fry – Modern Man

1066[edit]

The Battle of Hastings staged and described in the style of a modern football match, a version of a sketch from The Complete and Utter History of Britain.

• Clive Anderson – Archbishop of Canterbury
• Ray Clemence – Ray Clemence the Younger
• George Cohen – Master George Cohen
• James Fleet – William of Normandy
• Archie Gemmill – Archie Gemmill, currently in exile
• David Gower – Lord Gower
• Ricky Grover – Aberforth
• Alan Hansen – Lord Alan Hansen
• Geoff Hurst – Sir Geoffrey of Hurst
• Gary Lineker – Lord Gary Lineker
• Rory McGrath – King Harold II
• Peter Osgood – Squire Peter Osgoode
• Martin Peters – Lord Martin Peters
• Steve Punt – French soldier
• Peter Shilton – Peter of Shilton
• Rupert Vansittart – Bishop of Cardiff

Geordie of the Antarctic[edit]

A parody of Scott of the Antarctic.

• Amanda Holden – Geordie's girlfriend
• Bob Mortimer – Geordie
• Vic Reeves – Captain Scott

The First Spin Doctor[edit]

• Martin Clunes – King Henry V
• Angus Deayton – Lord Mandelson
• Martin Trenaman

Treaty of Westphalia[edit]

• Patrick Barlow – Advisor
• Robert Bathurst – English Ambassador
• James Dreyfus – Swedish Ambassador
• Stephen Fry – Ambassador
• Hugh Laurie – French Ambassador

Marriage Guidance[edit]

• Brian Blessed – King Henry VIII
• Jack Dee – Marriage guidance counsellor
• Julia Sawalha – Catherine Parr

The Nice-But-Dim Family[edit]

• Adam Blackwood – Norman
• Richard Briers – Highway robbery victim
• Tim Brooke-Taylor – Earl of Sandwich
• Peter Davison – Duke of Wellington
• Harry Enfield – Tim Norse-But-Dim / Sir Timothy Nice-Butte D'imme / Sir Timothy the Lionbrain / Dim Turpin / Major-General Sir Timothy Nice-But-Dim / Midshipman Nice-But-Dim
• Jessica Stevenson – Woman with Black Death Victim
• Natasha Little – Lady Lionbrain
• Spike Milligan – Admiral Lord Nelson
• Nigel Planer – Lord Cardigan
• Steve Punt – Lord Tampax
• Barbara Windsor – Highway robbery victim

Philosophy of a Hairdresser[edit]

• Thora Hird – Ida
• Victoria Wood – Moira

Body Zone[edit]

• Joan Bakewell – Herself
• Dawn French – Egg
• Jennifer Saunders – Egg

A Victorian Evening[edit]

• James Fleet – Mr Parsons
• Geraldine McNulty – Mrs Richards
• Trevor Peacock – Colonel
• Caroline Quentin – Lady Butterworth

Explorers Explorers Explorers[edit]

• Robert Bathurst – Francis Drake
• Peter Davison – Ferdinand Magellan
• Angus Deayton – Sir Walter Raleigh

Holby Village Hospital[edit]

• Jack Dee – Dr Barber
• Gary Olsen – Mr Baker

Early British Comedy[edit]

• Matthew Ashforde – Reginald
• Helena Bonham Carter – Lily
• Neil Morrissey – Director
• Caroline Quentin – Marcia Bournemouth
• Richard Wilson – Monty DeLauncy

When Columbo discovered America[edit]

• Gareth Hale – Christopher Columbo
• Norman Pace – King Ferdinand

Looking Forwards[edit]

• Lenny Henry – Deakus
• Clive Mantle – Dr Mike Barrat

See also[edit]

• The Complete and Utter History of Britain

External links[edit]

• The Nearly Complete and Utter History of Everything at IMDb
• "The Nearly Complete And Utter History Of Everything", Memorable TV.

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