Group dating

Group dating is a modern pattern for dating where a group of single people organize a night out, with the hope of forming romantic partnerships. It is most popular in Japan, where it is known as gōkon. In the U.S., group dating is becoming a safer alternative to single dating (especially blind dating), which also helps to ease tension, because both parties will feel more comfortable having the company of their friends.^[1]

Group dating is often recommended by parenting experts as more age appropriate form of dating for preteens than one-on-one dating.^[2]

In Japan, a gōkon (合コン) is a group blind date, typically used to form at least some friendships between two groups that are each of a single sex. Generally, a single man and woman who know each other organize the gōkon in advance, each agreeing to bring three or four eligible friends. The typical venue is usually a restaurant, an izakaya or any similar venue that offers food and drinks and accommodates socializing with others.^[3]

The term gōkon comes from the Japanese words konpa (a party for members of a single group, class, or club) and gōdō ("together", "combination"). Generally speaking, gōkon are not primarily intended to result in one-night stands (something more associated with nanpa), but rather for making new acquaintances and possibly forming long-term relationships. Typically groups of men and women will sit opposite each other and converse with one another, while simultaneously whispering discussions with their same-sex peers about which potential partners they find attractive. Sometimes games are played to reduce tension and encourage a convivial atmosphere.

Since the advent of mobile phones, texting on and showing it to others has become popular as an alternative to whispering.^[4]

According to an article in USA Today:

Group online dating, its creators and practitioners say, is safer than traditional Internet dating: With friends in tow, there's little fear that a date will spike your drink during a trip to the bathroom. It's more natural, akin to happy-hour mixing. Going out in groups improves your odds, at least in theory. And if the opposing social circle doesn't live up to its virtual profile, well, it's a night out with your gang."^[1]

According to a San Diego Union-Tribune article:

[The Concept] is part of a growing trend in the lucrative online dating market – harnessing the power of friends. Several sites are tapping into the idea that most real-world relationships begin, like it or not, with the help and influence of friends and family.^[5]

Gōkon-style events have also developed independently at Oxford and Cambridge universities, where they are known as 'crewdate' or 'swap', respectively.

• Culture of Japan
• Online dating service

• Azuma, Hiroki "Azzie" (21 September 2004). "Mobile Dating in Japan". The Mobile Technology Weblog. Creative Weblogging. Archived from the original on 21 December 2004. Retrieved 3 August 2012.
• evankirby (16 April 2006). "16/04: GenkiJACS' first "goukon"". GenkiJACS. Genki Japanese and Culture School. Retrieved 3 August 2012.
• "Middle-aged gals hooked on swinging matchmaking parties". Mainichi Shimbun. September 12, 2001. Retrieved 2007-06-28.^{[permanent dead link]}
• Takano, Yuko (24 May 2004). "An Introduction to the Somewhat Strange Dating Practices of the Japanese People". The Stanford Business Reporter. Berkeley, Calif. Archived from the original on 27 September 2007. Retrieved 3 August 2012.

• Moran, Simon (7 August 2000). "Japanese Coupling". Salon. Retrieved 3 August 2012.
• "Local governments play Cupid". Crisscross. 5 June 2006. Archived from the original on 15 June 2006. Retrieved 3 August 2012. Translated by Toshiya Fujii.
• Coderre, Francois. "'Gokon'". Retrieved 3 August 2012.